


cat café au - specials

by kizuowen



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Alcohol, Cat cafe AU, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Sex Mentions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:48:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21973843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kizuowen/pseuds/kizuowen
Summary: What if you were dragged by your best friend to work at his place and ended up in big trouble? Read the story about a group of friends, with many stories and secrets behind them, yet to be uncovered.READ HERE!This is a specials collection, I will post chapters here as I write them! These are too long to be added to the thread, so I will gather them all here. Please enjoy!
Relationships: Himemiya Touri/Suou Tsukasa, Sena Izumi/Tsukinaga Leo
Comments: 3
Kudos: 46





	1. Christmas special

It was Christmas, a season awaited by many people all around the world. It wasn’t any different for Izumi, who had spent almost all autumn season searching for presents and gifts to make to all his friends who had helped him so much during those hard, depressing years. Snow was abundant in the streets, it was cold, and it smelled like ash – the fireplaces were being used in almost all houses that created the many streets of the city in which they lived.

It could have been a happy season for him, but there wasn’t any further meaning than meeting up with friends for Izumi. Seeing them being happy while he wasn’t was healing, just like any other situation during the whole year in which they drank their cups of whatever alcoholic drinks those were, while he was sitting on a chair with a glass of water waiting until the hour in which he would have to drive them home. He was as simple as that – even the dirtiest, saddest job was alright if it was because of his friends, after all. And he hated to admit that, but this particular year, he had made so many of them, he simply couldn’t wait until Christmas day.

The biggest issue was his parents. While they had been suffering because of health problems and had been to the hospital several times, Izumi had nothing to do but to stress over this and to feel like a new era in his life was about to start. And he didn’t want to put himself in the worst case scenario, but… People weren’t forever. He was pretty much aware of that, and there was nothing that could be done. Leo had told him once or twice that they would get better, but he knew he only said that to put him at ease. A vague idea of what calmness was crossed his mind whenever he heard Leo say things he wanted to hear, and although he loved him so much, he sometimes wished he would be brave enough to tell him the truth, to make him fall from the cloud he had been sitting on all this time.

Izumi dropped his bags to the floor in the entrance, and got his keys out before opening the door that led to his flat. Despite having been a famous model that was paid quite a high amount of money, he had donated a big part of his savings to animal shelters, especially the ones that took care of cats. He had decided he wanted to keep his life as a normal human being, as a normal adult, ignoring his fame and living peacefully until he was old – but the reality was that he only got more and more popular and people also recognized him in his youtuber friends’ videos, when he was invited to record with them, such as Arashi and Ritsu. It was annoying, for sure, but it was also fun to have such a loyal fanbase… Even though so many of them believed the rumors and the whole scandal that took place some time ago.

As he opened the door, he noticed the light was already turned on. Right. That motherfucker was somewhere in there, wasn’t he.

Once he put the grocery bags in the kitchen, he examined the sofa – there was no trace of anyone sitting there before. That was quite the strange thing, since everytime Leo got into his house he would find him lying on the sofa as French ladies were painted. He frowned, and headed to his room. He should be there, since the door was shut and Izumi always left it opened.

And he was right. As soon as he opened it – oh.

He saw the figure of a sleeping Leo sitting down on his bed, eyes shut, lips half opened, in such a position that Izumi’s neck hurt as well by only watching. Leo was wearing a black… tuxedo? Why was he wearing a tuxedo? And why, on top of all things, was he holding a bouquet of red roses? It was Christmas, not Saint Valentines, dammit. What about poinsettias? Those were more appropriate for Christmas. Leo was an idiot, wasn’t he.

His hair wasn’t tied up as it always was, and his bangs fell on top of his face like a curtain. It would be a shame to wake him up, but Izumi needed to know what on Earth was happening, and how he got his hands on key copies. Because he refused to believe Leo had climbed up to his flat in a tuxedo.

He bent his knees to squat in front of Leo, placing his elbows on the other young man’s legs. Watching Leo sleep was always healing and somehow calming, even though he was the contrary opposite when he was awake. It was one of the few times Izumi was able to appreciate every little detail on his face. He was kind of envious of his skin, it always looked perfect, even when he didn’t seem to take care of it properly… His lips were thin and were able to create the most heartwarming smile his eyes had ever seen, and yet, he only used it to talk nonsense. Not that Izumi would complain about it, anyways, since everyone else seemed to only talk about sensical things…

Ah, he wanted to kiss him.

“Leo-kun. Wake up,” he said as he pinched Leo’s forehead with his index finger, trying to make him open his green eyes. “It’s late, but it’s not the time to sleep. Wake uuuup.”

The ginger soon showed signs of being alive, opening his eyelids slowly and blinking a couple of times, before staring at Izumi’s face for some seconds. “Oh, Sena. You.”

“Me,” he nodded, crossing his arms, still on Leo’s legs. “What are you doing here? In a tuxedo, with flowers, on top of all.”

“I—” Leo suddenly went on shock and fixated his sight in a blind point on the wall in front of him. “… No!! This can’t be!”

He got up real quick, almost making Izumi fall on his butt on the floor, and dropping the bouquet there to put his hands on his head, almost ruining his hair.

“Hey, calm down. What on Earth has gotten into you?” Izumi asked, getting up once he picked the bouquet up. It would be sad if it got damaged for whatever reason. “You could’ve just let me know if you were staying to have dinner and to sleep, by the way.”

Leo shook his head, taking his bouquet away from Izumi’s hand. His face was as red as the flowers he held and his gestures were really, really nervous. “T-that’s not it! Aaargh, I really did ruin it, huh…”

“Ruin what?” Izumi frowned, already confused by Leo’s behaviour.

“I— Forget it,” Leo sighed with a sad expression, looking right after at the bouquet. “Damn, I even tried to work seriously on this…!”

“Leo-kun, just what were you trying to do?” Izumi took a step closer, so he would stop looking down at the red roses. “Were you trying to surprise me or something?”

Leo gulped and looked away once that question was made by the other young man, squeezing the bouquet a bit between his hands. “Uhm, I… That was what I intended. But I stayed up veeery late yesterday, so I guess I… fell asleep! Wahaha!” And he scratched the back of his neck, still not looking directly at him. He felt like he had done everything for absolutely nothing. “But it’s okay, I’m just being a clown here. I probably should be in my pajamas already!”

“No— Hey, tell me what all this what about. It’s amusing, you know,” he said, as he shamelessly looked at Leo’s image, up and down. “To see you in a tuxedo. I thought you would become ash if you ever tried something like that on.”

“Hey! Actually, I’ve worn them quite a lot, hm? I’m a businessman,” and again, Leo tried to get his little ego back with this. “And… about that. Really, forget it. Just…”

He extended his arms while holding the bouquet of red roses until it touched Izumi’s chest, who looked completely puzzled by Leo’s actions. Ah, he was acting like a teenager, but maybe that wasn’t too bad… It was cute, whatever what was happening in his head.

“Here. Take them,” he insisted, to what Izumi laughed a bit, since he had already held the flowers before but they were taken away by Leo himself. “Don’t laugh at me!”

“I’m not laughing at you.” Izumi shook his head, and then doubted for some short seconds. “Well, maybe I am, but it’s not with ill intentions. Those are pretty, but I’ve told you a thousand times I don’t have any room left to put them. My house is turning into a jungle at this point.”

Leo pressed his lips against each other before complaining again and whining like a kid. “Then buy a new house!”

Izumi blinked and stayed silent to that suggestion, squeezing the gift between his arms a bit more while looking at Leo, expecting him to add something more, since he seemed so eager to keep whining.

“Buy a new house that’s bigger, bigger for the two of us and— Buy a new bed, a new sofa, isn’t this flat depressing? On top of all it’s designed for lonely people! There’s no way more than one person could live here, I don’t get it! It’s so small, no inspiration is getting into me, it never does when I’m here, and I believe—” He took a short breath to continue. “I believe you aren’t happy either, Sena. Don’t you feel like you live inside a shell?”

The grey haired young man blinked again and took his time to reply. “Are you saying all this because you want me to actually feel comfortable or because you want to live with me?”

Leo’s mind went completely blank, and his face went even more red after that question. To that reaction, Izumi’s cheeks turned pink, since the reply was more than obvious. He hated the situation, but it was actually… cute to think Leo wanted such a thing. They weren’t even boyfriends, after all… Then, why live together? The main reason he didn’t want to date Leo was the possible rumors that could break now only himself but also Leo, and he remembered that time when he fainted by only thinking about it and having an emotional breakdown.

He looked away before closing his eyes. “Well. We still can’t live together, we’re not even boyfriends.”

Leo’s blush disappeared as soon as he heard those doomed words, again. Once more. “Because you think I am as weak as I seemed back then. There’s no other reason for you to neglect me, Sena. I’ve been thinking about that too,” he made a point, lowering his head. “It’s okay to not be prepared for a relationship, but… You are. You just think I’m not able to go through criticism.”

“That’s— That’s not it. Leo-kun, you don’t—”

“Yes, I do.” He raised his chin again, squinting. “And I’ve had enough of that bullshit already, you know?”

As soon as he said that, Izumi looked down to the roses, sighing. “Then, you can have them back. If you’re gonna get angry at me, I don’t want to make it worse.”

“No, those are yours.”

“But why?” Izumi stressed on the last word, frowning. He didn’t understand Leo at all. If he was going to go hard on him that way, why was he still giving him flowers and treating him with a cotton coat? Why would he be so nice if he was angry at him?

Leo got closer to him and placed his hands on Izumi’s, feeling how warm they were in comparison to his, so they were holding the gift between the two of them. He raised his look to Izumi’s confused eyes, and whispered. “Because I love you with every single part of my body and mind. I’m not going to take away from you anything that I give you, because it wouldn’t be fair.”

“So you won’t because you don’t think it’s fair,” Izumi said in a rather tired tone of voice. “The concept was romantic but your wording was terrible.”

“Huh? And what are you going to do, Sena? Correct me, put it in better words?”

“Yup. You could’ve just erased the last part and leave it in that last ‘you’.”

“Which part?” Leo smiled playfully. He was getting an unexpected treat, and he was glad Izumi wasn’t noticing at all. He would regret later, but who cared?

“Geez. The whole ‘Because I love you with every single part of my body and mind. I’m not going to take away from you anything that I give you’. That on—Wait. No!” he screamed, face all red. “You bastard!”

“Oooh, you’re so romantic, Sena! Never thought I would hear such genuine words from your mouth!” Leo laughed, putting his hands on his stomach. “Repeat it, I didn’t hear properly!”

“I will kill you,” Izumi threatened him, frowning even more than before. Putting the bouquet on the bed, he pointed at him with one of his index fingers. “I can do it better than you, in fact, but since we’re not boyfriends, I refuse to write you a poem or anything!”

Leo got closer to him and wrapped his hands around his neck, putting them on his shoulders. “Aha. Coward.”

As Izumi furrowed, he realized it was probably not worth it to fight against Leo in any way, and absolutely not when he had brought flowers and… himself. In a tuxedo. The mere thought of how he would have struggled to come to his house in such an unusual thing made him laugh inside, but thankfully his face didn’t tell that at all. Instead, he let his forehead rest against Leo’s, still furrowing. “That might just be me.”

“Oh, you’re so sure about me being right. That you are a coward is something I can see, but maybe I’m wrong! Don’t surrender now, Sena, I thought you were playful!” Leo complained with a childish tone of voice, half smiling.

“I probably was when I wasn’t how I am now. And I lost my virginity,” he replied, bluntly.

“Sorry for the loss!” Leo exclaimed, not caring at all about the other man’s comments. He separated from him and slapped his two cheeks with both of his hands slightly, as if trying to wake Izumi up. “If you work hard enough, you might get it back.”

“Getting it back would be even sadder, especially when I already erased those memories from my mind. Can’t even remember who it was,” Izumi sighed, shaking his head once his face was touched like that. “Oh, by the way. Now you’re here, you could help me with the Christmas party preparations.”

“The what? I can’t hear you!” He had covered his ears playfully, swinging his body from right to left, as a palm tree being hit by the wind. “I can only hear party!”

“You are such a selective human being. Well, at least we’re sure that you are human,” Izumi shook his head once again, crossing his arms as he went to the kitchen. There was food he had prepared and needed to get everything done before the hour the rest would come to his house. “It’s a pity.”

“A pity?”

“I wanted to kiss you but you don’t deserve it now,” he told Leo, with a melodic touch in his voice. “You piss me off~”

“I… what?!” Leo asked full of offense, taking big and noisy steps to get closer to where Izumi was, arms lifted with anger. “Me? Me?! I deserve all your kisses! Open the kitchen! I’ll kick your butt!”

“Precisely because you will I won’t open it,” he heard him say from inside the room. “Dress the table, turn the TV on, do something. I’ll get the food prepared.”

“Sena, you… You poop! You shitty boyfriend! You bastard husband!” Leo hit the door with both of his fists, but not really wanting to take it down. Because if that was the case, the door would have actually been broken right after.

“I’m none of those.”

“Yet! You will see! You will fall earlier than you think!” Leo yelled, as a slight and kind of sad smile appeared in Izumi’s face.

* * * *

“Helloooo… Good night~” Ritsu’s voice sounded from behind the door while Leo opened it, Arashi also peeking before it was completely accessible.

“My, my. Leo-san, if you aren’t wearing Izumi-chan’s clothes…?” she said, as she covered her lips in shock. “How do they even look so good on you?”

“Well, there was an… accident! And this is how I ended up!” Leo shrugged, and invited them to come inside Izumi’s flat, scratching the back of his neck. “We’re not so different in sizes though…”

“Secchan’s chest is wider than yours, though,” Ritsu commented, as he carried a whole bag that seemed to carry food into the living room. “Secchan! Where are we having dinner?”

“Everyone here is so sure about Izumi-chan’s chest size, huh…” Arashi sighed, then looking at Ritsu. Wow, she had never heard him call for Izumi with such a loud voice. “Hey, did you drink caffeine or something, Ritsu-chan? You’re so energetic today.”

“I just get drunk before drinking. That’s my special skill,” Ritsu smiled slyly, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Last time you didn’t drink, Nacchan, you should do now.”

“I planned to… In New Years.” She looked away, feeling a bit awkward. Leo noticed this quite quickly, squinting briefly at Arashi’s gestures.

There had to be a deeper reasoning underneath the shyness. Arashi wasn’t like that, and he knew by only watching her from afar. Leo had a bad feeling from then onwards, but tried as well as he could to hide it from his friends, as Christmas was supposed to be a happy, merry holiday. He had prepared gifts, he had cooked for his friends too even if it was just a bit, and they also were going to put the unwanted Christmas tree in Izumi’s house, what could go wrong? Couldn’t they spend a whole night without crying or worrying about troublesome things?

But perhaps Arashi’s problem wasn’t just a troublesome thing, but her feelings. Leo was fully aware of the things one could say or do while drunk, that was a given…

“Alright then, we’re almost ready… Where is Kasa-kun?” Izumi asked, to what the other three looked at each other, in silence, not knowing the reply to the question.

* * * *

“Are you sure about this?” he asked, holding the present box while blinking slowly. “Is this for real? Are you sick?”

“Accept it and shut up, Tsukasa.” Tori crossed his arms, looking away while frowning. “Just say you didn’t prepare anything for me and go! I don’t care, okay! Not even a bit! I wasn’t expecting anything from you anyways, an ungrateful and irritating product of traditional thinking and business. Whatever!”

Tsukasa felt the cold hitting his expressionless face, raising his look to meet with Tori’s figure at the entrance gates of his own mansion. Well, it was smaller than Tori’s, but it wasn’t tiny either, that was for sure. And they were lucky he had some streetlights in the garden, otherwise it would be impossible to see a thing, since Tsukasa was ready to go to his friends’ party and there was no one else in the house but multiple anti-robbery alarms.

“Is it okay if I open it now?” he asked, still holding the box with both of his hands and looking at the shorter young man.

“I don’t care about what you do! Go ahead, it’s not even that special, I was just thinking— Since we are colleagues, and we knew each other since little but never got to properly talk and everything, that—”

“Oh. This looks nice,” Tsukasa said, as he dragged a long and soft scarf from the inside of the box. It was the classical type, but the colors reminded him a lot of the inside of his house – wine red, purple, indigo, reddish brown, a colder brown, and black. It was as if the house was only designed after he was born, just to match with his own physical appearance. “It’s quality fabric. Good.”

“You materialistic b—”

“I’m thankful, Tori-kun,” he interrupted the pink haired young man. Despite being quite polite and assertive around people who were older than him and even younger, he took the liberty of being more like that same bratty kid who dared tell his parents he knew what he was doing, right before falling into a pile of dirt. “For the present. I… didn’t expect you would give me anything so I didn’t prepare anything. I’m sorry.”

“Huh? What are you so formal for?” Tori shook his hand, still not looking at him. Nervousness? Embarrassment? “I just happened to come across it and thought it would be perfect for my public image.”

“… This isn’t about your public image, though. It’s between you and me.”

That last sentence, somehow, made Tori’s face go all red, and also tempted to push Tsukasa downstairs. Homicide wasn’t an option, but he felt so… angry? He was mad, he was mad at Tsukasa for acting so natural. He could have just used that bratty and mean face he always used with him when they were arguing, but he chose to be polite instead. Why? Was that his new weapon?

“What part of I don’t care do you not understand, Tsukasa?” 

“The part where you try to act though, Tori-kun, after doing something as soft-hearted as giving someone a present even though you knew I wasn’t going to give you anything.”

Tori finally looked at him with wide eyes, holding his bag against his chest with his crossed arms, squeezing it even harder, lips half opened.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” Tsukasa asked him, raising both of his eyebrows. “Fine then. I’m late to a Christmas party, so if you’d excuse me.”

Tsukasa dropped the box inside one of the bins he had in the entrance of his house, before covering his neck with the new scarf, leaving Tori upstairs, unable to say any more mean things. It wasn’t until the car door closed that he was able to react, putting a hand on the mansion’s walls and looking at the floor.

“… I was actually expecting something, you know, Tsukasa,” he whispered, closing his eyes and squeezing the bag with his free arm once again, harder, as his cheek became bright red. 

* * * *

“Excuse me for being late, my friends,” he said, as he was invited into the house. Leo squinted at him.

“You’re so quick to call us friends, when you took five years to consider me as your friend!” he pointed at Tsukasa with his index finger, looking offended. But Tsukasa’s expression went blank seeing Leo’s face, ignoring him completely, and went inside. “Huh?! Hey, brat, don’t ignore me! I’ve given you life, right? Don’t ignore meee!”

He was acting like a kid, probably. But it was obvious even to him that Tsukasa had business to fix with him, and he didn’t know what it was…

Once the table was ready, everyone sat down but Izumi. He was still wearing his apron and serving the food, bringing the drinks, changing the TV channel because whatever that was airing was shitty, and a long list of things he should stop doing to sit with them. But the grey haired young man had his eyes fixated on the youngest of the people that gathered there.

He might be dumb, but he wasn’t senseless. Pretty much everyone in the house knew something was going on, but no one dared say a word.

“Tsukasa-chan, your scarf is new, right?” Arashi asked, while munching on food, covering her lips with her left hand. “Oh, those are delicious. Izumi-chan, you’re as good as ever in the kitchen.”

“It is, indeed. It was given to me right before I came here, and that’s why I was pretty late. I apologize,” Tsukasa replied, bowing down a bit with his head.

“Oh, no! It’s okay, don’t be sorry at all. We were all very excited to see you. Right?” And she looked at Leo, who had around three shrimps inside his mouth, being devoured.

“… Hmpf.” And that was all the ginger replied, before grabbing the coke bottle.

“Hey, no, no, no! Use the glass! Don’t drink from the bottle!” Izumi snatched the bottle from his hands, before taking said object and filling it with the drink. “You rude child. Have some manners and don’t much food as if you were about to spit it out.”

Leo gulped with the liquid, and let out a long sigh. “I’m sorry, they’re really good so I couldn’t help but fill my mouth with them!”

“That my cooking is good doesn’t give you the right to be disgusting around the table, you know,” Izumi moved a fork in the air, before reaching out to some food so he could put it inside his own mouth.

“And that’s enough of you too, Secchan, are you going to eat standing up? That empty chair feels lonely, actually,” Ritsu added his word to the conversation, drinking some wine from the cup. “It’s not like your ass is going to get fatter if you sit down.”

“Ritsu-san, please don’t finish the wine bottle before midnight,” Tsukasa asked him, almost shocked by the amount that he had already drunk.

“Worry not, my dear son,” Ritsu replied, sitting comfortably on the chair, as if he was at the beach, while moving the wine inside the cup elegantly. “I can resist alcohol better than anyone here~”

“What’s that ‘dear son’… I’m the son of my family, not yours,” the youngest said, grabbing a snack from a little plate.

“Kasa-kun, you’re eating too many snacks. There’s actual food over there, you know.”

“It’s—It’s fine, I know,” he replied to Izumi, blushing slightly. “I… am just weak to snacks. I’m not able to have these too often but they’re a passion of mine.”

“That’s a lie, though,” Leo said, moving his index finger in the air while pointing at Tsukasa. “You used to sit in that chair and write a lot and sometimes hit that keyboard while you ate shrimp flavored chips.”

“Oh, those are good,” Izumi commented.

“Shut up, Jesus Christ!” Tsukasa exclaimed. He had a reputation, no one could find out about the fact that he liked gaming and that he did it pretty often.

“Why are you telling the guy to shut up in his birthday? I’m sorry, Jesus!” Leo shouted, moving his hands in the air as if he was talking to the heavens. “May you rest in peace, I hope you get lotsa gifts!”

“Ufufun. Leo-san, be careful, you will hit your cup and spill the coke on the table… It would be a pity if all this got wet.” Arashi put a hand on Leo’s shoulder, but before she could massage him a bit, the ginger got up and pushed the chair behind him.

“Whatever, I’m not hungry now, so I will start with the Christmas tree!” he said, as he ran to the other corner of the living room. He heard Izumi sighing, coming with another plate of snacks.

“Be careful not to hit anything while figuring out how to put it,” he asked, but deep inside, he knew Leo was just going to do as he pleased.

Izumi finally sat down, table in front of him. And since his original chair was a bit more distant to the rest, he decided to occupy Leo’s instead, next to Arashi, who smiled at him while holding a shrimp with her fork in the air.

“Here, Izumi-chan. Say ‘aaah~’,” she told him, raising the fork to his mouth. Izumi frowned and said nothing, but opened his mouth. Whatever, she was just as playful as she had always been and that was it.

But Leo frowned.

It didn’t take long before Ritsu got up from the table to walk towards the struggling Leo, finding him not knowing how to put the branches of the tree in their place. He squat down and put the cup on the table so he could be of help, as close as to touch his shoulder with his own.

“Hey, Tsukippi. Is everything alright? You’re making a scary face,” Ritsu asked him finally, a bit worried about his friend’s state.

“I’m fine. This tree is driving me nuts, you know?” he lied, frowning even more as he separated the plastic branches aggressively. “Why did we agree to put this shit here, though…”

“You’re sulking sooo much it’s worrying.” He tried to help him taking another branch, separating it calmly. “We wanted to put a tree in Secchan’s house to bring his Christmas spirit back. When he was a kid, his house used to be full of decorations and Christmas carols were playing on loop. His parents love Christmas, you know.”

Leo stayed silent as Ritsu spoke, trying to connect that information with anything. But he kept hearing Arashi feeding Izumi, and it was driving him mad. Just… he wanted to block those thoughts, he couldn’t be like this in such an important holiday, he should be happy, right?

“I want him to feel less lonely,” Ritsu concluded, smiling slightly.

“He’s not alone,” Leo complained. “I… I’m here. Am I just not enough to make him feel accompanied, though? I thought I…”

“Tsukippi, are you jealous?”

Leo’s cheek turned a bright pink as he put the branch with a blue mark in the blue row of them, where it should go. Eventually, his eyebrows would become one, after frowning so much… But he didn’t answer for some minutes in which Ritsu understood he might not want to say yes. He knew how Leo was feeling if it was jealousy, he had those emotions as well back then when he wasn’t dating Mao yet… He remebered being nights asking himself if Mao had grown tired of him, if he simply didn’t return his feelings, and doubted himself and his own prepared love confession for weeks. It was just a matter of time he confessed, but he didn’t have it easy, and he knew Leo had already confessed.

Ah, he was… so mad at Izumi. But there was no point in pressing him to do something he didn’t want to… But he wanted to! He knew Izumi wanted to date Leo, he himself told Ritsu even if not directly. Izumi’s fears and demons would prevent him from finally accepting Leo’s love, though, and it was frustrating for him to watch, so he didn’t want to even imagine how the ginger would be feeling.

“I… don’t understand it.”

Ritsu raised his look to Leo’s face, who had his head lowered to look at the branch between his fingers.

“If I ever wanted to be half of how cheesy she is… He would reject me, and yet,” he continued, “Naru is allowed to be like that with him. Being his ex.”

A sly smile appeared on Ritsu’s face as he put a hand on Leo’s shoulder. “Believe me, Tsukippi. Because he loves you, he’s embarrassed when you do such things. Secchan is mean to everyone he loves… Nacchan is just bulletproof at this point, but she’s also feeding her own frustration with that, you get me?”

“Hm? How is that?”

“Once she drinks, you will notice,” Ritsu returned to keep putting the branches, finishing it earlier thanks to the cooperation between the two of them. “This house will become hell once alcohol is on the table. And Secchan will have to deal with it all.”

“Did I hear my name over there? Hey! I hope you two aren’t talking shit about me,” Izumi raised his voice, looking at the two young men sitting next to the Christmas tree. “Oh, you finished it?”

“Yep, it’s done. Enjoy it, Secchan,” Ritsu said as he dropped a couple of boxes below the Christmas tree.

“Oh, the presents! Wait, me too, me too, I made you guys some gifts!” Arashi exclaimed as she got up and ran for her things.

Eventually, all the gifts would be right below the tree. Leo gave everyone songs dedicated to them, somehow resembling how their personalities were, as Izumi complained about just how obvious it was that he would gift songs. Izumi made stuffed animals for everyone, hats, gloves… Arashi gifted cologne, cosmetics and the sort of stuff she got from her job as an influencer. Ritsu got everyone one of those ‘friendship bracelets’ that everyone loved except for Izumi, who thought it was ugly as fuck. But he put it on anyways. And Tsukasa bought tickets for a visit to the aquarium in the capital city, for what again, everyone was excited about except for Izumi, saying that they had to buy the train tickets and also make sure they would go in a weekend so they could stay there, complaining that they would need to close the cat café earlier, and a long list of things to point out.

But it was okay, since everyone was happy.

* * * *

It had been an hour since everyone started drinking alcohol with the annoying sound of the TV at the background. The people who weren’t sitting on the sofa were on the floor, using a cushion. And people were Ritsu and Leo.

“Izumi-chan, there’s a present under the tree that wasn’t opened, right? That paper in which it’s covered is yours.”

“Yup. But that one won’t be opened until all of you go back tonight,” he replied, holding his glass of alcohol free grape liquor. “And it’s not for you.”

“I bet it’s for Tsukippi. But why is it so big?” Ritsu asked, almost complaining, as he held his cup of wine. He had lost count of how many of those he had drunk.

“That’s none of your business. Naru-chan, stop leaning on me like that,” he said, while trying to push said girl to a side. But his strength wasn’t enough to achieve what he wanted.

“Shut up~ Let me cuddle a little, okay? It won’t hurt you!”

As time passed, Leo and Ritsu started talking together about nonsense, Arashi almost fell asleep on Izumi’s shoulder, and him and Tsukasa were the only ones that weren’t drinking at all. But the redhead was so silent it started to concern Izumi. He remembered he talked a lot in the groupchat and in the last party, so he wasn’t sure about his wellbeing.

“Um… Hey. Kasa-kun,” he tried to catch his attention, to what he only received a lazy look.

“Hm?”

“Why aren’t you drinking?” he asked. It was a normal thing to be the only one who didn’t drink in the whole group of friends, so it felt a little strange that there was someone else like this.

“Oh. I’m driving.”

“Ah… I understand,” Izumi replied, and there was a sudden silence between the two. It was almost awkward and made him feel uncomfortable, but Tsukasa seemed so calm, as if he was thinking about something else…

“Sena-san,” he called him.

“Yeah?”

“Just how close are you now… to Leo-san?” he made that question without looking at Izumi in the slightest, look fixated on the wall right in front of him. Not even the TV was ‘interesting’.

“What is that question?” Did Tsukasa ask it like that but was meaning something else? The kid was so polite his dirty and simple mind tried to guess if it had a… well, a more vulgar meaning.

“I mean romantically,” and that was what made Tsukasa gaze at him, without moving his head. His expression was serious. What was he? A brother-in-law? Well, technically…

“Well, we kissed. If that’s the information you want,” Izumi shook his hand in the air, without giving it much importance. “Nothing too deep. I guess.”

He noticed how Tsukasa’s fist strengthened on his left leg, which made him notice how his reply would go from now on. And yes, there it was.

“How… is that something ‘not too deep’? How are you taking it so slightly?” he asked, as if he was trying to repress anger with his words. But it was more than obvious, and Izumi was a dirty troublemaker. More than ever when the room stunk like alcohol did.

“Hah. What? Are you jealous?”

Tsukasa shook so much to that question he found his glass of water on the floor, completely broken. He blinked and smiled a bit. “Is that the image I give?”

Everyone in the room fell silent, before Arashi’s voice broke through the silence. “I’m pretty sure I’m the one jealous here, though…!” She squeezed Izumi in her arms, sounding almost frustrated. “And, on top of all… I’ve been so long without having sex! I’m so bored on my own, I’m sooo lonely… Ahhh…”

Arashi sighed and shed a tear, while Ritsu looked at Izumi, and Izumi looked back at Ritsu.

“Didn’t you say you weren’t jealous, though?” Leo asked, holding a whole bottle in his hand. “Did you lie?”

“She’s not the only one lying here, then,” Tsukasa interrupted in a low voice, almost impossible to hear. But Izumi did.

“Ahaha… It’s been seven months, though…” Arashi rubbed her cheek against Izumi’s shoulder. “Izumi-chan~ Why…”

Leo almost stood up, but Ritsu pulled from his sleeve to keep him sitting down. He didn’t want confrontation at all, and after all it would be a mess if they really interrupted Arashi. She never talked about her true feelings when she wasn’t drunk, so… 

“Because you are going to cling to me forever as if more guys didn’t exist out there,” surprisingly, Izumi replied calmly. “More than one would date you without hesitating and yet you’re trying to hit on a gay man.”

“But you don’t get iiit. It’s impossible for me now! It’s so unfair!” Arashi almost yelled, closing her eyes. “Why are you even gay… You loved me too, so why! What did I do wrong?”

Izumi sighed. “I… didn’t—”

Tsukasa stood up. “Can I please ask what’s so great about it in the first place? You are so drunk and interested in sex no one has even noticed I broke a glass! And there it is!”

“You wouldn’t understand, Tsukasa-chan~ You’re a cherry boy, after all.” Arashi looked at the redhead that was standing up, her cheeks being pink. “And you’re sooo young~”

“I’m 25. And no one is telling you I don’t have experience with those things.”

Everyone gasped.

“… I’m not saying I did, actually.”

“Suo,” Leo stood up once Ritsu let go of his sleeve, walking towards him and pulling him from the wrist. “We have to talk, come to the bathroom with me.”

“I’m absolutely not helping you aim!” Tsukasa said with terror in his voice.

Everyone fell silent as Leo kept walking, dragging Tsukasa with him. Now everyone knew what Tsukasa meant in the groupchat, at least… Leo closed the door behind them, but Tsukasa left it half opened for some reason, and covered the switch with his back as he leaned against it.

“… Turn the light on, Suo.”

“No.”

Leo fell silent, sighing a bit at Tsukasa’s attitude. He was still a bratty kid, wasn’t he… He had always been like that deep inside.

“Well, I wanted to ask you. Are you okay?” Leo told him, with a slight concerned look on his face, as he played around with his bracelet. “You’ve been so silent, and…”

“I should be asking that to you as well.”

Oh.

“Why are you okay with Sena-san kissing you and sleeping with you if you’re not… partners? Can’t you see he is playing with you? Leo-san.”

“Sena would never do that,” Leo replied, squinting. “Suo, you’re jealous, aren’t you. Look, I know it might feel lonely, but you have to tell me things, okay! If you do, we will work together to make you feel less lonely. We’re friends, are we?”

“Fine then,” Tsukasa told him, before smiling in such a fake way it was horrifying. “That surely puts my mind at ease, yes. I missed talking to you, Leo-san.”

The other young man blinked, not being entirely sure of the reason why Tsukasa said that so suddenly.

“It’s… been so long. I’m so happy.” He lowered his head. “But… If you want me to tell you all the hard things, then why don’t you do the same?”

As Leo kept looking at Tsukasa, the boy raised his chin again to meet with his gaze, hearing how everyone started congratulating each other outside. The clock hit midnight, so it was already Christmas.

“Leo-san, if I may ask you a question now we’re alone after so long,” he started, while keeping that smile and his eyes fixated on him. “Just for how long have you been lying to your family?”

“… What? Lie? Me? Why?” What was he accusing him of? Why his family? What was happening…?

Tsukasa closed the door suddenly, so the whole room fell into darkness and silence before he started talking again, calmly. “They’re buying your silence. Monthly. You knew about this, you agreed, and even today, you’re getting money from them. From the Tenshouins. Am I wrong?”

Leo was completely unable to believe what Tsukasa was saying, what he was putting right in front of his eyes. He… he did, but he made it sound like a big crime. Why…?

“… Suo. Do you know why I did it?”

The silence invited him to continue. “It doesn’t matter how much I work, how much fame I get, Tsukinaga surname will disappear someday not too far away from now. My family means nothing to the world, you see… There will people who love me, but very few will admire me or be interested in me. It’s fine, because I’m an individual.”

“But Tenshi is sick. He’s always been of poor health, since we were in school… And his whole family is influential. It owns so many things, I don’t know examples now, but they do big things, and they donate to people… To shelters, to organizations, to those who are in need. Why would they suffer such a big stain in their career? Because one of their sons decided it… was okay to mass murder people in a fire?”

Tsukasa went silent, as an invitation to keep talking.

“He… that man. He forced me to have sex with him, to stay holed up in a room until he came back because he said I was ready to cheat on him all the time, he took photos of me in private occassions without my permission, he broke some of my materials saying I didn’t give him enough attention because I was always composing… He was the reason why I stopped making music at some point, but it didn’t last long before he commited… suicide I guess? The building… was going to fall by itself someday.”

Leo sighed again, shaking his head. “Tenshi however… He didn’t do anything wrong besides bullying people at school, but he learnt from that. He’s still a bit offensive sometimes, but he’s not like his brother in the slightest. And his parents are beautiful people who lend their hand when someone from their circle needs help… And even from outside their circle. Tenshi is also a famous model and actor, I don’t… want their lifes to be ruined just because mine was.”

And Leo stopped talking, squeezing his bracelet tightly. “I… thought. Maybe if mom was alive… She wouldn’t have wanted to ruin a whole family because of what one person did. Even though they had full responsibility of that man… He was an adult, there were things they couldn’t do, and no one expected him to just start a fire and mass murder nearly twenty people. Many of my cousins, aunts, uncles and my mom died there, some were really young… But do you think it’s fair, Suo? I didn’t have friends back then besides you and I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t even ask Ruka. I didn’t want to burden any of you with people whose will is no longer important besides what we can barely imagine about what they would’ve wanted. And even then, it’s useless. Then why be angry?”

“I don’t understand.”

Tsukasa made a pause, not hiding how shaky his voice was anymore.

“I don’t get why. I don’t understand why you thought you would burden us with something as important as that,” he kept talking, taking some breaks. Leo could imagine he was crying because of that. “You… made me believe for some weeks that you were a liar and that you only wanted the money. I refused to believe that you were like that and even couldn’t sleep well because I simply couldn’t… I couldn’t accept that you’d do such a thing, Leo-san. And even though this is a relief, it’s still…”

He shook his head, as Leo felt how Tsukasa’s forehead was put on his shoulder.

“It’s heavy, isn’t it? It’s okay if you share with us. Take your time, Leo-san, but don’t scare me like that. Ever again,” he asked of him, sobbing a little. “I know all this… Because Tori-kun is researching about it. He’s got the documents, he’s interested in how the Tenshouins are handling that at the moment, and we were worried about what you could be doing with all this. We were ready to expose the case if you happened to be that greedy… Even though it’s something legal, we couldn’t just let everyone continue their lives without knowing why the mass murder was erased from the investigation list from the police. You’re telling everyone no one knows what happened, but… You know. His brother was who killed everyone. It’s… not okay to lie.”

Leo put a hand on Tsukasa’s head, stroking it softly. “Look, I might never say things like these because I don’t want to let everyone know, but… I was scared and lost, okay? As you said, I will take my time. But eventually, I will tell everyone. I realized I asked you to be happy, but no one asked me so, huh…?”

“If you need someone to tell you to be happy, then I will,” Tsukasa separated from him suddenly to wipe his tears away with his sleeve. “Be happy, Leo-san. Don’t hide things from us… Those bracelets, Ritsu-san made them so you could believe in us. So we all could believe in one another. So don’t waste them, and remember everytime you see it around your wrist. I thought it was a good idea, otherwise, I wouldn’t have put it on myself.”

“You’re so cold, Suo~ Of course you would have. You’re so polite you will just accept any gift.”

“And I did. The scarf from Tori-kun…”

“Oh, about that. Tell him that he doesn’t need to burden himself with the murder case. And that I’m rooting for him.”

“Rooting for… him? Why?”

“Suo, you didn’t read the groupchat messages, did you?”

“Eh?!”

* * * *

Izumi closed the door behind Ritsu, Arashi and Tsukasa. It was late, around 4 a.m., so it was better for them to return home as soon as possible. They lived pretty far away from each other, after all.

He heard how Leo was opening his big present eagerly, before turning around and coming near him, hands behind his back.

“A box! A big box!” Leo almost shouted, opening it with such energy half of it went flying. “Ehhhh?! Another one?! Sena, you’re a devil!”

“Keep going, keep going, it takes pacience. All boxes are wrapped around gift paper so you’ll have to break your fingers to get there,” he shook his hand in the air before sitting down on the sofa, arms and legs crossed while he watched Leo breaking all the paper.

“This is… criminal,” Leo wheezed, moving his fingers after some more boxes. “How much time did you even spend on this?”

“Plenty,” Izumi answered, yawning. “If you don’t hurry up I’ll fall asleep, see.”

“Don’t act like this isn’t yours! Come here, too. Help me a bit,” Leo pointed at the place right next to him on the floor, strictly. “Here, here.”

Izumi had nothing else to do, so he obeyed and sat down next to him, watching him continuing the chore, hearing his complaints, in silence. He rested his cheek on the palm of his hand and his elbow on his leg, as Leo finally got to the last box. It was ridiculously small, blue and its material was soft. It was funny seeing how Leo’s face was impossible to describe with words, his expression was simply hilarious. Why did he seem so disappointed? He didn’t even know what was inside.

“I hope this is the last one. My fingers hurt, I’m going to start bleeding anytime!” he complained.

“Stop being a baby. Open it, okay?”

Leo squinted and did as Izumi told him, opening the little box. Inside, there was a piece of paper, bent many times. Agh, he hated him with a passion… But he thought it would be worth it, at least.

As soon as he got the whole piece of paper opened, he realized there was something written on it. Leo blinked and tried to figure out Izumi’s handwriting – it was usually beautiful and clean, but this time it was so messy…

… Oh.

He kept holding the paper, as Izumi raised both of his eyebrows, looking at him as if he was completely unamused.

“What are you so silent for? Read it outloud. I wrote it for you to read it, you know.”

Leo found himself shaking, opening his lips for a second before talking.

“Will you…”

“Yes?”

“… go out with me?”

Izumi smiled softly before leaning on Leo, to hug him tight. He let his own head rest on his shoulder, closing his eyes. “Sure, you idiot.”

“Ah—Ah. Ah?!” Leo’s whole face went bright pink as he dropped the piece of paper, looking nervously at Izumi. “So—That was it?! Is that it?! Huh?”

“I thought it would be good if we shared a Christmas present, that’s it. And you never, ever asked me to go out formally, instead you just went around complaining about me not being your boyfriend… I mean. I would probably have rejected you anyways, but it’s nice hearing it now.”

What? What in the world? Leo kept frozen while sitting on the floor, unable to pronounce any more words.

“Leo-kun, you… Are something else, you know. I noticed you were sulking today and Kasa-kun was, too. Probably because of the same thing,” he continued. “So I’m glad the past me took the decision of putting that under the Christmas tree you all bought for me. I know this is sudden and it’s shitty to have our anniversary on Christmas day, but… let me be stupid for a little longer, okay? This is a huge step, and I want you all to stop being annoying with it~ So let’s just… try.”

“… Ah.” Leo lowered his head, feeling how he was starting to cry. “Ah, no, no, no… Sniff… Sena, you idiot! I will kick your butt! I swear!” he yelled, as he tried to wipe his tears away with both of his sleeves.

“Hey, be careful with my clothes, will you? Geez… You’re so troublesome.” Izumi laughed a bit, before reaching his temple to leave a kiss there. “It’s late, let’s go to sleep. You’re not allowed to let anyone know until morning. Or afternoon. Depending on my mood.”

“Hah?! You’re—Uuuu…” Leo covered his eyes again with his sleeve, hearing how Izumi started to laugh.

“Don’t cry so much, Leo-kun. You will be able to brag about this all you want to very soon, okay?”

“Then you brag too. Brag about how great and kind your boyfriend is for putting up with all your teenage shit! Stupid Sena!” he said before trapping the grey haired man around his arms. “I will crush you with hugs!”

“Ooh, so scary. Someone save me.” But instead, he returned the hug, squeezing Leo tightly. “A giant lion is trying to kill me to eat me alive, help.”

“There’s no passion in your acting. We have to improve that,” Leo said as he smiled slightly, stroking Izumi’s hair.

“I don’t have time for that. I’m just acting like myself, something you should be doing too. If you want us to stay boyfriends, that is.”

“I’m twenty eight and I haven’t changed much since I was little, so that will be easy!” Leo leaned on him a little.

“I—What?! Hey, wait! Just what are you doing?!” he screamed as he found himself being lifted from the floor in princess style. “Let go, you dumbass! If I fall—”

“You won’t, so stop complaining! Let’s go to sleep, Sena! Let me carry you to our love bed~”

“Hah? Sure, an individual bed. So romantic,” Izumi shook his head, trying to keep himself away from falling by hugging Leo around his neck. “Be careful and don’t step on the present boxes, okay?”

“Oookay~ Merry Christmas, ho, ho ho!” Leo said happily, as he ran to Izumi’s room.

“Yeah… Merry Christmas to you as well, Leo-kun.”


	2. Valentine's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw / suicide and child sexual abuse mentions in this chapter!

It was a rather cloudy day of February. No other day but the one in which couples are supposed to show their significant other just how much they loved them, but in… an exaggerated and capitalistic way, or so thought Tsukasa Suou, heir of the Suou family and also a big rebel, even if no one would suppose that by just looking at him. Tsukasa’s face was round and squishy like a rubber duck’s body, his hair was as red as a strawberry’s color was, and his eyes were, even though quite droppy and round like a doll’s, full of determination and fire. But it wasn’t a burning fire – it was the cold and somehow lonely fire of an adult that had never had the opportunity to enjoy the early years of childhood, puberty or whatever was related to innocence. Tsukasa was nothing but the biggest failure of his family and, at the same time, its only pride and joy.

He had rebelled at a relatively late age, imposing his ideals before his family’s. It was a hard decision he had never thought about taking, but it was also necessary as a human being as things started to get out of hand. A controlling family is desired by no one, even if you love it with all your heart – that was what he thought when cutting almost all ties with his own parents and what he still thought that moment. That moment in which he was simply standing in front of Tsukiko’s door, when it still hadn’t opened – something understandable, as it was still six and a half in the morning.

He didn’t know why he was standing there. He had no clue why he was looking at himself in that door’s panel of glass when he could simply take out his pocket mirror or use his mobile phone. But something inside him led him there, and he followed his heart until he faced what could probably be his biggest fear to date. He was sure it wasn’t the building what he feared – that was a given. No one would fear a building unless it was a haunted house, and that place wasn’t a haunted house at all even if managed by soul lacking beings. Not because they weren’t sensitive, but because they behaved like ghosts more than like vampires as they joked to be.

There was something. Tsukasa was sure there was something about the situation that was off, that would become twisted in a matter of days, weeks, or even months. But he had a bad gut feeling he wanted to supress like crazy, and that he couldn’t be able to control once facing that building’s door, just as if it was estimulated by the presence of the cat café. It was strange and not something he had experienced before, only after Christmas.

He soon heard a meow coming from his feet, and as he lowered his sight, a grey and white cat appeared right there. It wouldn’t stop meowing for some reason, and it was the only cat around there, even though the sun was still hidden. Tsukasa squat down and crossed his arms on his knees, while leaning his head to a side as he looked at the feline that kept making such a noise. “If it keeps like this it might awaken the Sakumas,” that was what he thought before feeling a cold hand landing on his head.

“Suu-chan,” a familiar voice pronounced. “What are you doing here? You should be sleeping, don’t you have a date today, after all?”

Tsukasa stumbled and got up real quick, scaring the grey cat away. He felt upset for a second because of that and because of what Ritsu had said, but he also wanted to keep his defensive position. “Good morning. Yes, I do have that date, indeed, but I wasn’t able to sleep as much as I usually do and something inside of my body led me here. I sincerely apologize for the cat woke you up.”

Ritsu’s cold yet familiar smile decorated his face as Tsukasa was able to see the outline of his figure thanks to a gentle blue light’s glow. His black hair fell upon his forehead and cheeks as he leaned his head to a side, just as he had done before while looking at the grey cat. “Don’t worry, I wasn’t sleeping. I was preparing everything to open the café.”

“R-really? This early in the morning?” Tsukasa asked with obvious shock coming from his voice. He thought Ritsu was a lazy, careless person that only had good luck he was able to manage the café because of the warm nature of its employees. “I apologize again I interrupted your job, in that case. I shall offer a helping hand, mayhaps, if you please. I know how hard it can be to settle everything up some hours before the opening hour all by yourself… After all, cat cafés must require great care, since you keep living beings inside it.”

Ritsu’s smile widened and a gentle laugh came from his mouth. “Oh, really… Is that what you think…? Amusing,” he finally said, winking at Tsukasa. “It’s easier than you think. Cats, even if quite independent creatures, are very affectionate towards those who take care of them. I feed them, give them a place to sleep, people who think they’re cute… That’s all I want myself too, so I can simply look at them and think… Ahh, yes, I get it. If there’s one thing I understand in life, that would be cats.”

Tsukasa winked. “You’re pretty unusually talkative, if I may say.”

“That’s probably because I’ve been awake for an hour now and because I feel lonely.”

Silence fell upon their shoulders, and only then, Tsukasa noticed how Ritsu was covering his shoulders with a red colored blanket hanging from both of them. It looked fluffy and soft, so he kind of wanted to touch it, but kept the desire to do so to himself. But the whole image of Ritsu in pajamas, blanket covering him, messy hair and naked hands setting everything up at five in the morning while being surrounded by cats that purred while keeping close to his legs was, somehow… Something he admired.

“I understand how you feel,” Tsukasa replied to him, looking away. “Though I have the good luck of not having to work while feeling lonely.”

“It’s alright, Secchan will arrive soon… He discovered I got up early and decided to do the same. He’s a very caring guy, isn’t he… Despite not looking like it, he’s also a cat.”

Tsukasa frowned once he heard that name, and Ritsu noticed. Now, he was getting exactly what he wanted – what was inside Tsukasa’s body that led him there. He wanted to get deeper and deeper into him, he wanted to understand him, since there wasn’t something as simple as envy or jealousy – those two often came holding hands with something else, that could be darker and sometimes… even good intentions, even a golden heart that only wanted to be loved, but once it was, it rejected love right away.

“You’re making an interesting face. Why?” And Ritsu wasn’t the kind of person who walked around a same topic only to get to the gist of it in the end – he was direct, blunt, everything he needed to be to make an impact on that person, the impact that could lead him to all kinds of answers, and what had been successful until then.

Tsukasa’s sight didn’t move, and his whole body freezed in time. But his mouth was quicker than his mind sometimes. “Who is he, even?”

Now, that was an interesting question.

“You mean Secchan?”

“Yes. Him,” Tsukasa reassured him, finally raising his head again. “Who is he? I didn’t find an answer to that question yet.”

“But did you really make that question?”

As Ritsu asked that, Tsukasa opened his eyes slightly widely while looking at him. The sun had started to rise from behind the building, so the black haired man’s face was starting to be visible. Nevertheless, his expression was still… indecipherable.

“You won’t get answers if you don’t ask first, Suu-chan. Secchan is not the person that speaks for himself first and that’s why he won’t play the game of describing himself in three words – he simply can’t but think of negative adjectives and then the game stops being fun,” Ritsu said as he rubbed his left arm. The smile was still showing in his face. “You could ask him if he knows who he is, and he will tell you, with a straight face, that he doesn’t certainly have a clue. That he is simply called Izumi Sena because that’s the name his parents chose for him. But if you ask me,” Ritsu continued, “I will only be able to tell you good things about him because that’s all I can see. That’s all he taught me to see in him. I think that’s the first thing I knew about him – he’s easy to love.”

As soon as those words hit his ears, Tsukasa lowered his head and kept silence for some seconds before speaking once again. “I see. Then I shall return home… And try to sleep for a bit longer even though it might be physically impossible.”

And that was when Ritsu noticed he didn’t have the ability to get further from that point at least in that moment. But it was okay, since he still had plenty of time to explore the vast sea Tsukasa’s mind was. “Get some rest, Suu-chan. Good luck today, we will be watching over you if you need anything.”

* * * *

Once the sun started to shine brightly through the blinds, Izumi opened his eyes in such discomfort he let out a groan, realizing Leo’s head was still resting on top of his chest. Damn, it wasn’t light or anything – the pressure on his thorax was making it hard to even move a hand to rub his eyes so he could see a damn thing in that cursed grey, tiny room of his. He coughed, and noticed how Leo had started to wake up as well, because he moved and frowned.

“Leo-kun.”

“Good morning~” he said happily, sticking his cheek to Izumi’s chest. “Five more minutes!”

“You might have those five minutes… but I have to go to work. Kuma-kun is waiting for me to arrive sooner, see,” Izumi explained himself, trying to get away from Leo’s hug, but it was too hard when Leo was such a clingy creature. “Let go, I need to get prepared.”

“Why… whyyy… On Valentine’s Day of all holidays!” he complained, pouting and finally letting Izumi go. “That boy, Rittsu… He’s evil. I’m sure of that.”

“Well, you aren’t thaaat wrong. He’s evil-minded but warm-hearted after all.” He started to get dressed calmly in front of the closet, knowing Leo wouldn’t look because, after all, despite being a needy gremlin and wanting to get to know him by all means, he still respected his privacy. “It’s Valentine’s Day, so we’ll start wearing those hellish maid attires from today. Damn, how annoying. Wearing tights and stuff… Is this some kind of joke or what?”

Leo hugged the pillow and rested his head on it, with his back facing Izumi and his eyes fixated on the window from which the light entered to the room. “I am telling you once again that you’ll surely look good, Sena. It’s just for fun, I bet we’re all going to laugh a lot together and lots of people will come to see pretty boys wearing maid dresses.”

“I am not okay with strangers seeing my legs, though,” he replied, looking at himself in the mirror. The burn covered a big part of his thigh, it was… quite shocking to see because it was a dark spot on his skin, just as if it was a dog’s fur. It was normal, some people had such burn marks and no one would say anything, though it was quite easy to find oneself staring at it. He put the tights on calmly, letting a sigh out. “It’s not that it looks bad, but… It’s upsetting to be a propaganda tool, if you get me.”

“Rittsu is himself a pretty boy dressed in a maid dress, so it’s not like he’s abusing all of you… And even though you complained, you lowered your heads and said as the boss said, didn’t you?” Leo laughed a bit. “If you truly hadn’t wanted to wear it, you could’ve just started a revolution or something~ Ah, Sena. Let me know if I can help you with the dress or whatever.”

“I was going to ask you just now since I can’t reach my back. If you could lend me a hand with the zipper and the apron, it would be nice,” he replied, as he sat on the bed’s border so Leo could see the zipper and… his naked back. Well, it was okay… It was just the back, wasn’t it?

Leo turned around once he felt Izumi’s weight on the bed, only to see the young man’s back. It was… like a plain canvas – it was wide since Izumi had broad shoulders and yet, he was so slender the bones of his spine were easily noticeable until his neck. His head, lowered, let him see that perfectly, and, for a second, Leo forgot that what he had to do was to fasten the zipper, as he let his lips fall on Izumi’s skin gently and shallowly. Immediately, goosebumps made their appearance as he jumped from the bed.

“The fuck are you doing!? Fasten the zipper, you idiot!” he shouted, as his whole face turned as red as a tomato. And Leo immediately blinked, remembering what he was supposed to do.

“Aah, sorry, Sena! I’m still sleepy, you see. Sorry, sorry!” he repeated, raising his hands until he reached the zipper to quickly fasten it. He also made sure the apron was correctly placed and tied in a bow, looking from above Izumi’s shoulder how it looked like in the mirror. And of course, he found himself staring, to what Izumi would push him away quite violently to go put his shoes on. “Wow, rude.”

“Quit staring and I won’t be so rude,” Izumi replied to him, the blush still covering his cheeks. He was embarrassed, but it hadn’t been the first time he had worn a maid attire and absolutely not the first time he had been stared at. “I have to get going, so if you want to come, make sure you do before we close around night. We will close between breakfast and lunch, though.”

“Okaaay… I will clean and do the shopping, will probably stop by lunch, okay? If you want me to be useful in this house, then you must let me go!”

“I am not dragging you with me or anything. Besides, it’s the least you could do for me, given you will never leave this damn apartment…” Izumi replied in a kind of low voice that seemed more sullen than neutral. “You don’t even like this place. What about Ruka?”

“She’s fine,” Leo said after making a pause in which he visualized the face of his adorable sister. “I’ve lived with Suo for long before, so she’s used to it… I guess the strange thing for her was me staying at home.”

The following silence made Izumi think about his words for a bit, as he made sure to put everything inside the bag – new clothes included, just in case he wanted to change them after some time or if he felt too uncomfortable. It was Ritsu’s fault to not tell him they would do that, just pushed them inside the bandwagon and expected everyone to be okay with it.

“Sena… Do you think I’m a good brother?”

Izumi looked at him and smiled a bit, rolling his eyes. “Well, if you ask me. I have never been a brother myself so I can’t tell you what a good brother is like. I just know many kinds of brothers, all of them are different, and, at some point, they’re asses with their siblings. Too clingy, too cold, too mean, too sweet – it doesn’t matter how different they are, their siblings will always complain about them and feel strange if they correct their behaviour. You just need to look at how much of a bitch Kuma-kun is to Sakuma.”

Leo blinked and folded his legs while sitting on the bed he hated with such passion he could throw it through the window. But he was interested, since Izumi never spoke his mind so often.

“But Ruka hasn’t said a single bad thing about you.”

That felt like a huge relief to Leo, who let out a long sigh, sulking without realizing about it. He wasn’t sad nor frustrated, he simply didn’t know what to do. Somehow he wanted to believe Izumi in both of his statements – maybe he had left Ruka behind but she didn’t voice her annoyance because she was too sweet to speak out the truth about her feelings. But at the same time, he… Looking at Izumi finishing preparing his things as if he wasn’t included in the conversation, as if he had nothing to do with anything – it wasn’t that it drove him mad. But he wanted to be around him. There was something about leaving his dear Sena alone that terrified him, and he didn’t know what it was.

Before he even got to blink, he realized Izumi had squatted down and had his hands on Leo’s legs, looking at him from his now reduced height. He would think “oh, he looks like a puppy” if only his expression didn’t shout “hey, are you crying?”

“Leo-kun.”

“I’m fine,” Leo said before drawing a light and genuine smile on his face. “I just hate thinking precisely because I get looost in the vast kingdom of thoughts and I leave you all behind in the boring and sad world of reality, you know?” he explained, before separating his legs a little so Izumi could rest at ease. “If only I could take you with me, I would leave reality behind like it was nothing!”

There was something in Izumi’s eyes that made Leo’s whole body become a rock. He didn’t even move his mouth, his eyebrows or nose, nothing had changed on his face. But his eyes said more than enough, fixated on Leo’s now fake and dumb smile and those careless words he had just spat out without thinking how Izumi would take them. Someone as fragile, vulnerable, sensitive as Izumi, despite looking like a rock, despite acting like ice.

But all he did was placing his cheek against Leo’s stomach as he hugged his torso with warmth Leo had never expected to get in a situation like that, in which he had said something so misunderstandable as that… He wanted to say something, but didn’t know what exactly.

“I want to tell you “don’t leave,” but you won’t listen to me just like I didn’t listen to my friends. Just know that if you do, I will find a way to go with you,” that came out of Izumi’s mouth as almost a whisper, while he kept his eyes closed and his hug around Leo’s torso tight. “So if you want _me_ to leave, that’s in your hands.”

“Those… those words are just as bad as what I have said, you know?” Leo said with notorious nervousness, making Izumi tighten the hug.

“I could say something worse if you want me to,” Izumi replied, letting himself fall a bit down Leo’s torso while his knees were nailed on the floor. “We’ve just both discovered we dislike reality in different ways, haven’t we.”

Leo made a brief pause and bent over to surround Izumi’s head with his arms, leaving a shallow kiss on his silky and soft hair.

“Dislike is a very soft word, but I guess so. I don’t want to leave because of you all, but if I ever found something in me that made me stay, I would be really grateful to life! Can tell you the same, Sena. Let’s search for it.”

“I’m tired,” Izumi replied, separating his cheek from Leo’s belly to look at him. “But if you’re ready to take breaks, then I will go with you.”

* * * *

Tsukasa held his umbrella tightly in front of the building where they were supposed to meet, staring directly at the void with a straight face. His mind was completely blank, just listening to the pleasant sound of the rain and people rushing to come inside the building because of the falling water. Tsukasa didn’t mind, though – he liked rain well enough to stay outdoors with his coat and his recently acquired scarf. He had sincerely thought Tori would like to see him wearing it, and he chose his whole outfit thinking about what _he_ ’d like. Once the notion of everything maybe being a _date_ is what had drove him crazy that morning. But, honest to god, in that moment all he was thinking about is how pleasing the atmosphere was.

Tsukasa enjoyed watching people run, cars come and go, animals sheltering in some low roof around the street or below trash containers. Because that was something he had not been able to do when he was younger – to observe, to stand up and keep his feet nailed to the ground for minutes or hours. To realize how little he was in a world full of people to which he was just a mere ant, easy to come, easy to crush, easy to go. Tsukasa Suou had nothing to offer his country or the world he lived in, not even his own family anymore. So it was just fine for him to do what he wanted – even if that made him remember he was nothing but a derailed train.

As soon as the song from inside the building changed, he saw a quite modest car coming to the entrance of the place, right before its beautiful English-style garden. He was sure it was his car, because he had seen it a thousand times, mostly when they were kid, only for Tori not to get hurt by cameramen and people of the sort. He had never understood how Tori had been able to keep a life tied to his family like that while doing what he loved… Perhaps that was why he was envious of him.

“Hello,” Tori greeted him once he went upstairs with his little transparent umbrella decorated with cherry blossom petals. He brushed his sidebangs until one of the two locks of hair hid behind his right ear. “You came first today, didn’t you! I even made sure I was early!”

Tsukasa looked at Tori in silence for some seconds, with an expressionless face, and the pink-haired boy blinked at that lack of reaction. Wasn’t he going to reply to his rivalry exchanges? Where was the fire? Did the rain extinguish it?

“Tsukasa?”

“… Ah, my bad. Apologies, I was lost in thoughts for a second and I sincerely thought I had replied, but it probably stayed in my mind,” Tsukasa raised a hand to the back of his neck, rubbing it a little embarrassed. “I silently replied that that doesn’t really matter as long as we don’t miss the start of the concert.”

“Well, you surely had a boring as hell idea for a date,” Tori said, crossing his arms once he was sheltered by a roof. But as soon as he realized about the word he had just used, his cheeks turned a light shade of pink. “I-I mean! The meeting!”

“You’re free to call it a date if that makes you happy,” Tsukasa told him, closing his eyes calmly. “If you consider it boring, then I am sorry. I thought you would recognize this place, but I see I am im the wrong.”

Recognize? That place? Tori blinked at the same time as he drew his attention to the huge elegant hall in front of his eyes – despite looking like a modest building, it was a true palace inside, and lots of people dressing smartly were gathering in small circles of friends, families… Talking, making those comments only the nobility made, those both of them hated to no end. Tori knew in that moment where he was – the chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, the red carpet, the large columns supporting the roof, the statues of people he didn’t even know back then. Everything made sense. It was the place where Tsukasa and Tori had first met, long, long ago. Realizing about that made his heart flutter a little, but at the same time, it made him want to punch Tsukasa in the face and break it to pieces.

“No, I… recognize it. But I thought you hated this place just as much as I do,” he replied, squinting at all those detestable rich people. “You precisely ran from all this, why are you returning now?”

“I wonder.”

Tsukasa said that once he started walking towards one of the doors that were at the end of the enormous hall, to hand the tickets in so they could be checked and enter the place where the concert would take place. Tsukasa hated that place indeed, but if he was going to torture himself, he was going to do it seriously. He wanted to make sure, he needed to know if he held, at any possibility, such feelings for someone. His sullen and turned off heart couldn’t feel a thing that wasn’t jealousy or loneliness, fear of being left behind – perhaps if he focused on something else… Perhaps if he found someone who would make all those thoughts disappear…

But Tsukasa couldn’t think of himself dating someone, or worse, putting those personal insecurities on someone else’s shoulders. The mere thought of doing so made him rot inside, feel like he was being selfish or some kind of lazy person when, in reality, he might just be… tired.

Once the tickets were checked, Tori followed Tsukasa into the audition room. It was huge just as the whole place was, full of luxuries, seats for important people, and the stage was perfect for classical music concerts. They were the only ones there yet, since they arrived… Perhaps, too early. Tsukasa was quick – he went ahead to the middle of the whole row of seats and turned around to look at a troubled Tori, who tried to get through the chairs without tripping over any of them. He didn’t understand how Tsukasa had looked as if he was levitating, was he a ghost or something? But his frustrated thoughts were interrupted.

“Tori-kun.”

Tori looked visibly annoyed as he raised his sight to Tsukasa’s face, furrowing, before realizing he was standing there, in the middle, with both of his hands hidden inside the pockets of his long coat. They were indoors, but he hadn’t taken it off, and it probably was still a bit wet from the rain. His expression was a different kind of lonely he hadn’t seen before, but it wasn’t sadness. It was distance, it was feeling like Tsukasa was unreachable at that point. And his thoughts might be right – perhaps he was no match for him, someone who had taken so many decisions, someone who knew himself as well as Tsukasa did… Little did Tori know about what was going on not in Tsukasa’s head, but in his heart, about himself, about Tori. About them.

“I know you might get bored with this,” Tsukasa spoke, raising his voice volume lightly. “So you’re free to leave whenever you want. I can enjoy music on my own.”

Tori frowned again and crossed his arms, asking himself how cryptid Tsukasa was going to act that afternoon. He was acting strange and not like Tsukasa at all… There might be something bothering him, but he didn’t want to ask him yet. “Hah. I won’t just leave, I’m stronger than that. I can bear with more hatred than you think.”

The next thing he saw was Tsukasa’s gentle and sweet smile, that appeared exactly when he didn’t expect it to come at all. That single and slim curve made Tori’s whole body shiver for a second, and to grip strongly at the back of the seat he was leaning on. Tsukasa made him so mad – he couldn’t stand him nor how handsome and tender he could be in a simple blink of an eye. Perhaps what Tori liked about him was that, despite being so empty inside, Tsukasa managed to fill himself in with memories and actions for the sake of others. That was how he helped Leo get some money to pursue his dream career, for example… Tsukasa had always been there, but at the same time, he hadn’t been there. Tsukasa was there, but he had no presence – just a rather quiet adult, with an expression that made it look like he had been about the same thing for ages and still didn’t give it an explanation or a solution. Tori couldn’t stand watching him like that, but once he was taken out of his own little world, he would act like he was just like “one of us”.

“Don’t smile at me,” Tori ordered, feeling his cheeks warmer than before.

“Oh. I didn’t know smiling was a bad thing until now,” Tsukasa replied, sitting down right on the seat he had next to him. “Do you really not want me to smile at you?”

Tori wanted to kill him. Gently, but stabbing him a million times.

“No. I just know why you’re smiling and I don’t like it,” he explained, sitting down right next to him, drawing his attention to the stage where the conductor would later stand.

“Why do you think I am smiling, then?” Tsukasa tilted his head to Tori’s side, to what the pink haired reacted nervously.

“Y-you thought I would tell you, hah. Quit it, we’re not children anymore, are we?” Tori looked away once again, hiding his head between his shoulders. “I think that—”

“I smiled because I thought you were cute.”

Tsukasa’s face was some centimiters away from his, and he was looking more serious than ever. Tori felt his whole face go bright red, he was so red he could be seen in the dark. But Tsukasa was unamused – what on Earth has gotten into him? Tori placed a hand on his face to push him away quite violently, closing his eyes with frustration.

“I like being called cute, but you’re not allowed to do it! You idiot, shut your mouth up! When is the damn concert going to start!?” he yelled, making some of the people who were starting to come inside the room stare at them, making disgusted and confused faces. They probably knew who they were, or didn’t understand how such childish behaviour was admitted in that place, but it wasn’t as if those gazes were going to change anything between them.

And if they knew them, they probably also knew it was best not to talk to them rudely or to require some manners. The Himemiyas and the Suous were powerful in their own special way, even though they weren’t rich families that liked to stand out too much. But they probably also knew that both of them had almost nothing to do with their family names at that point, and that, instead of being together having a date at a classical music concert, they should be holed up in their large mansions repenting from their life choices and leaving their loved ones behind. And if they thought that was what happened, they probably were wrong.

* * * *

There was something about the atmosphere that made Izumi feel uneasy. Everyone was happy and enjoying their meals, their coffees and everything they served. Some girls had tried to flirt with him and some others complimented him and his colleagues, and photos were being uploaded to social networks since the waiters had given permission. The café started to get more and more lively as time passed, but sometimes he wished he had just had enough time to pet the cats a bit more, like he always did. Leo, on the other hand, was enjoying it like a little kid, talking to the rest of the waiters and signing autographs some fans asked him to. It was fun, it was calm, and he felt like it had been a good day for everyone, not only for him.

Leo raised his hand and Izumi came to assist, almost annoyed since Leo’s facial expression was as readable as a neon advertisement. “What do you need?”

“Nothing, I just wanted to tell you something,” Leo said as he locked his mobile phone on the table, placing his chin on his hands and his elbows on the table. A wide smirk appeared on his face. “I will probably ask Rittsu to go drink for a bit later, so I will probably be back pretty late, hm.”

“Well. As long as you don’t wake me up,” Izumi replied, taking his empty coffee cup away. How many of them had it been already? Four? He would not deliver anymore, he didn’t want Leo to get sick from drinking so much coffee, despite knowing he could handle all the caffeine in the world. “And as long as I don’t need to drive you home, do as you please.”

“What do you mean wake you up?” Leo grabbed Izumi by the wrist so he wouldn’t just leave in the middle of the conversation. He knew he would soon as he was already looking at other tables. “Hey, wait. You better be still up when I arrive.”

“Why?”

“Sena.” Leo raised his eyebrows.

“If I’m tired after today, you better get rid of that idea.” Leo was, at the very least, glad that he had noticed the message. “It’s not like today is thaaat special or anything, so don’t develop any fantasies of the sort.”

“Alright, alright~ I just wanted to let you know.” Leo then let go of his wrist, smiling widely at him. “Go keep on working, Sena. You’re doing great.”

Izumi sighed and had nothing else to do but to keep attending the rest of the customers, ignoring the fact that Leo had stood up and started walking towards the stairs in the building. Yes, those exact stairs that were covered by a door saying “only Sakuma family members allowed”. He needed to talk to Rei for some seconds, because Rei was someone who somehow knew about everything and that was relaxing to talk to. The corridor he ended up in was rather dark and everything was surprisignly gothic-decorated, unlike the cat café right below the house. It seemed like a vampire’s mansion, but the ceiling was actually not too tall and it seemed lonelier than any place in the world.

He knocked on all doors before he heard someone mumbling something. He guessed it was Rei, so Leo opened it to find the black haired man inside the bed, with a wet towel on his forehead and his cheek slightly pink. He was… sick?

“Hi, Rei! Are you alright? Do you need something? Sorry to come visit when you’re sick,” Leo said, coming inside the room carefully since he didn’t really want to get sick as well. “You look as if you were dying.”

“Oh, that’s… Because I feel like dying~ You are lively, Tsukinaga-kun. But I am not as sick as I look like, it was just Doggy being extremely worried about me, so he tucked me in bed, put the towel on my forehead, and told me not to move. So here I am,” Rei explained, sighing with, somehow, relief. “Though I wish he believed me when I said I’m not as weak as he thinks I am in terms of health… That boy never changes.”

Leo smiled and took a chair to put it next to the bed so he could talk more comfortably to Rei, his friend from highschool. They had been studying in the same classroom for years and they shared a great passion for music and instruments, as well as playing them in the school band. He knew Rei was older than him, of course, but it wasn’t a big difference. Rei was simply easy to go missing and not coming back to class until two or so months later… He couldn’t blame him, though. There was a time in which he disappeared from the Earth’s surface, and he had just learned about how Ritsu felt about it and that it was still unknown why.

“Well, having caring people around is always nice!” Leo said, crossing his legs. “I came to talk to you for a bit, because as Suo isn’t my representative anymore, I thought about talking with you beforehand. I believe in Rittsu blindly, but you’re the owner of the building after all, and I’d like to hold another concert here soon,” he explained in quite the direct way so Rei’s weakened mind would understand quickly. “It won’t be much, I just realized today that I miss this place being as lively as it was when it first opened.”

“Oh. Do you perhaps think we’re decaying as a business?” Rei asked, avoiding the proposal for the live. He was clearly more interested in Leo’s view of the cat café.

“I didn’t say that!” he exclaimed, crossing his arms. “I saw so many people coming today, so I realized… I kinda miss parties. We’ve all been so under the weather lately, I miss having lots of fun and meeting new people and stuff! Bring a good atmosphere to this place! Flood it with acoustic melodies full of passion and emotion! I miss that, Rei!”

The black haired man smiled widely as his eyelids fell low, looking at Leo. He was as lively as always, despite being such a damaged person. He admired him for that and was glad his little brother was his friend… Having someone like Leo around was always nice – even if he wasn’t as caring as Koga or Izumi could be.

“I get what you mean. I just wanted to know your thoughts on it,” Rei replied, closing his eyes slowly. “I will accept your proposal, of course. Your music is quite nice to hear to before taking a nap and even while doing so, so I can’t oppose. Besides, I believe my friends will also come visit if we do something like that… They’ve been missing for a while, after all.”

“Ah, you mean the pigeon guy, Mr. Bubbles, ugly hair, and magician dude? But magician boy works here! I saw him wearing one of those cute maid dresses,” Leo tilted his head to a side, and looked quite confused. “If you miss them, just tell them to come here, can’t you?”

“I… can’t,” Rei shook his head slowly so the towel wouldn’t fall from his forehead. “They’re busy or minding their own business, and I can’t blame them, either. I’ve been busy as well, we all have problems to take care of… I simply think it would be nice to see them again, if the concert brings the opportunity to do so,” he concluded, turning his head around to look better at Leo. “However, I’m more curious about you.”

“About… me? Wahaha, why?” Leo separated his legs and looked at Rei with wide eyes.

“Tsukinaga-kun. It has come to my attention,” Rei then turned around again, to look at the window in the opposite side of the room’s walls. “What business… do you have with Tenshouin Eichi?”

“… Nothing too special,” Leo replied, changing his mood completely, to a sulky figure just sitting down on a chair, in front of a sickly friend. “I…”

“You came for more than just the concert, didn’t you? Tsukinaga-kun,” Rei asked him, raising his hand to put it on top of Leo’s head. “You’re someone difficult to see through, but I can do just as much as to notice that.”

Leo fell silent, and Rei waited for the worst of the worst. He preferred to prepare his own mind for that, even if he was sick, just in case he had to come up with an intelligent reply to Leo’s questions, or, more than questions, his never spoken thoughts that would later bring him some kind of gentle relief. They weren’t that close, but if there was something happening on Earth, Rei would probably know about it, it didn’t matter what it was.

“… Rei, I was wondering,” Leo started talking, in a very low voice. “What… kind of model agency does the Tenshouin family manage? I’ve learned about something recently that apparently happened not too long ago, but I, somehow… didn’t know about it, and it felt bad. Because it happened to someone very close to me.”

“You don’t need to hide it. If you’re talking about “problems” that happened in the Tenshouins’ model agency, the only person that would come to mind is Sena-kun,” Rei smiled softly, putting his two hands on his stomach, over the blankets. “Ritsu probably told you, didn’t he… He can’t keep secrets for too long to people that he holds dear, after all, as long as they help those people develop their thinking skills. And by that, I mean that Ritsu probably thought Sena-kun would never tell you about that. He does indeed want to forget it and to not be remembered because of it, or so he personally told me.”

Leo lowered his head, furrowing a bit violently and clenching his fists on his lap. It was frustrating, because he did want to know everything about Izumi, but what concerned him the most was that… He could be defending someone who he shouldn’t be defending. Someone genuinely mean. He didn’t know. Eichi was his friend, but, to what extent could he forgive him and his family?

“Did… _he_ have something to do with the scandal?”

“Do you want me to give you an answer?” Rei asked back, to which Leo didn’t reply. “… I understand. There’s just so much you don’t know yet, Tsukinaga-kun, but it won’t be long until you do… Secrets can’t be kept forever, though. Ritsu has many of those you probably wouldn’t think of, but whatever flew once needs to land on the floor again after some time. Just wait, and you’ll see.”

“I can’t just wait and keep doing something that could be… bad! I can’t do this!” Leo yelled at him, getting up from the chair. “You don’t… you don’t understand because you don’t know. You know many things, but not everything! I’m asking you because… Because if he did something to Sena, then I—”

“Tsukinaga-kun, please, calm down,” Rei gently asked him, still smiling. “I might not understand, but even if you were defending him if he did something to Sena-kun, if he knows that and he still stays with you, then—”

“He doesn’t know shit!!!”

That shout left Rei speechless, unable to say anything else. But Leo had finally faced the real problem – everything had to be born in him. If he didn’t open himself first, then, why did he expect others to do so? No one besides Eichi, Tori and Tsukasa knew about the silence fees. No one knew anything about him and Eichi being in contact, because he still foolishly believed in him. He had made Tsukasa worry over him, when he didn’t even care about himself… Then why? Why wasn’t he able to say a single thing on the matter?

Was he… for the first time in ages, was he afraid of something?

Rei opened his lips to talk, but then fell silent. He tried again, putting his wet towel aside, and looking directly at Leo, with a straight face, he finally spoke.

“Sena-kun was sexually abused in the Tenshouins’ model agency repeatedly. You probably knew this from now, but – the guilty person is running free out there.”

“Why the fuck is he running wild out there!? Why did they let a pedophile keep his life on like that!? Who allowed it, did Tenshi do it, did Sena do it!?” Leo asked Rei, furious. “How is that possibl—”

“The same way as you were bribed into silence with money but you used kindness as an excuse,” Rei interrupted Leo, “Sena-kun might have put other matters before his own safety and mental health.”

Leo changed his expression, letting his arms hang from his body, once he heard that. The possibility hadn’t crossed his mind – Sena would do that. It sounded exactly like him, and he didn’t like it at all. As weak as his body suddenly felt, he whispered. “Why? Why would he…?”

The vampire-looking man closed his eyes.

“Don’t act like you don’t know,” he replied. “Sena-kun’s parents have been sick for a long time now, Tsukinaga-kun.”

* * * *

Once the concert was over, Tori and Tsukasa made their way out of the music hall, but to Tori’s surprise, he was holding Tsukasa’s hand, as he was pulling him all around the masses not to lose him as tiny as he was. It wasn’t embarrassing – it was just a security thing, wasn’t it? No hard feelings. No romantic thought could break the perfect shell he had made around his feelings for a while now.

It was still raining outside, but they ended up sharing the umbrella. They walked around the garden calmly, not talking at all, just Tori complaining about work and Tsukasa nodding as if he was listening to him, as if he was agreeing with him. The manager this, the producer that, the camera-man is a shithead, and then, his parents.

“They’ve… Been ignoring me quite a lot lately, I wonder what’s going on,” Tori said, as he stood still in a single point of the park with the umbrella. Tsukasa had to stop as well, as he hadn’t opened his and didn’t really want to get wet. “Everyone’s been ignoring me, actually. They’re all… So busy with whatever thing they’re doing, aren’t they, Tsukasa? Is it just me or is everyone worrying too much while looking stupidly happy?”

Tsukasa stared at him for some cold seconds before looking away, hands in the pockets of his coat. “Perhaps. It happened the same to me. Today, I— I went to visit Tsukiko at dawn, and encountered Ritsu-san. He was working hard even though it was still very, very early in the morning, the sun wasn’t even out yet… But you know, he had a blanket covering his shoulders.”

“Why is the fact that he had a blanket that important—”

“Why use a blanket when you could use a sweater or a coat? Ritsu-san… He was wearing short sleeves and a blanket. He simply… didn’t care, or didn’t notice. Everyone’s minds are over the clouds, and…”

“You’re just like that as well now.”

Tsukasa fell silent when Tori interrupted him, who leaned his head to a side slighltly, looking at him with those big, brilliant, innocent green eyes he had deemed of an enemy’s during all his childhood. But he was there, on a date with him, he was acting cute but he was stabbing him right where it hurt.

“I… Do you think I’m the person that is acting strange?” Tsukasa furrowed, feeling his whole chest in pain all of the sudden. He didn’t know if it was because of how difficult it was to breathe due to the cold weather or because an unexpected scar has just reopened in his heart. “ _Me?_ ”

“I don’t know why you sound so surprised about it. You probably know better than me, Tsukasa.” Tori got closer to him making sure the umbrella didn’t hurt him or anything. Tsukasa hated it, he despised how close he was – it hurt more and more, and he had started to think about things he would rather not see around his mind ever again. “You’re suddenly so nice, why? But you’re nice in your actions, not in how you behave. Where are you, Tsukasa?” And he poked his forehead with a single finger.

Tsukasa grabbed Tori by the wrist quite violently, to his surprise. He lowered his arm progressively as Tori saw how his expression became impossible to guess, like ancient scripts no one was able to translate yet. In all his life had he seen Tsukasa like that, despite having known each other for so long, despite having gotten on each other’s nerves for that long. But Tsukasa was… he was furrowing, he looked nervous, troubled and… hurt?

“I should ask _you_. I should ask you why you’re suddenly so nice with me. I laughed at you, I basically made you miserable for some years of our puberty, I gave you insecurities, I don’t even treat you particularly politely now.” Tsukasa’s grip became stronger as he spoke, and Tori almost felt it in his bones.

But it was okay for him. He had it very clear. His reply had appeared in his head for longer than he had expected to be.

Tori had waited for years for the feeling to disappear. He distanced himself from Tsukasa thinking it would fix it, thinking he would be able to forget about him and all the things he liked about him despite him being mean towards him sometimes and vice versa – but it was in vain. He had always, always known Tsukasa wouldn’t feel the same, he knew how he would react to it, he knew he was going to be rejected and he would be embarrassed about it for all his life. Tori wasn’t stupid or an idiot, he knew it very well. But something he would do right in life would clearly be choosing between eternal hatred or unrequited love.

And he chose.

“Because I am in love with you.”

Tsukasa freezed for some seconds. It wasn’t like he didn’t know – he had talked about it with his friends, after all. But hearing it directly was a completely different experience, something he thought would never come to his life. And yet, here it was. From the last person he thought he would get it – from the last person he had ever expected to feel such a thing for him as love, despite all he had done to free himself from the chains locking him away from the heaven he had created in his mind. Mind that was now blocked, completely blank, unconscious enough to not be able to notice he had started crying while still holding Tori’s wrist.

The other young man, on the other hand, kept the silence between them, waiting for an answer. He hadn’t made any questions, so it was natural for Tsukasa to not reply. But something he wasn’t expecting was tears, and not precisely happy tears. “Are you sad that I love you?”

Tsukasa got rid of Tori’s wrist roughly and, after taking his scarf off and throwing it at him, he turned around and started running as the rain fell upon him. He heard Tori calling him and following him for some seconds, but the pink haired young man surrendered early as the rain was getting heavy and also Tsukasa’s will to get away from that situation.

As he ran away with all the energy and willpower he had left, he felt relieved there was no difference between his tears and the drops of rain that fell on his head and whole body. He didn’t want that hellish scarf, he didn’t want to open the umbrella, he just wished he drowned in a puddle of tears from the sky and never woke up again. To be loved, why was it so scary? Why was he running, and where was he running to? What would people think of him?

As soon as Tsukasa found a bench to sit on in a bus stop, he felt his whole body become water with the rain. He was so cold, not sheltered at all, and just… a mess. The mess he had never felt he was before. He took his phone out, hoping it wasn’t too wet to ask his friends to pick him up, as it was getting late in the evening anyways and it was time to go back home. As soon as he wrote the words “it didn’t go well”, Leo sent a photo of him and Ritsu holding some alcoholic drinks, and Ritsu replied to him. He didn’t know if it was a good time to type, he didn’t know if he was the only fucking person in that chatroom who was feeling like his whole world was shattering into small pieces.

His shaky hand, however, forced him to send the message. As soon as he did, everyone in the chatroom started asking him what happened, and then, he saw a single message from Izumi, saying “send your location right now, I just got out of work”. He didn’t know if he wanted to see Izumi at all, but… he didn’t want to be a bother for the other three people.

His eyes were still crying as time passed waiting for Izumi to arrive on his car, hugging himself while the roof of the bus stop barely tried to keep him away from the raindrops. He soon saw the lights from a vehicle that seemed just like Izumi’s, so when he saw the window rolling down and the man telling him to come inside, he simply stood up and got inside it.

There was a silence of a few seconds in which the two of them looked forward, until they turned around to see how each other was a mess in their own way. Izumi was wearing a maid dress. Tsukasa was Nessie. It was ridiculous, but even if it was the tiniest detail ever, he felt, for some seconds, like he was safe.

“Kasa-kun,” Izumi started talking. “What happened?”

Tsukasa looked at him for some silent seconds, repressing the tears, as he didn’t want to cry in front of him, of all people. But it was okay. He was in a group of friends, and Izumi was in it, so… Was it okay to consider him his friend, after everything he had thought about him? Was it okay for him to reconsider his feelings, all his emotions, just because he had just been confirmed he’s loved, wanted? That someone would totally do just was Izumi and Leo, but with him? Was it okay for him to…

“Wow. There, there.” He gave him some tissues as Tsukasa’s eyes flooded with saltwater tears, taking the freedom to clean his face a bit himself. “You’re a mess, we’ll talk later. I’ll drive you home.”

* * * *

When Izumi said “home”, Tsukasa wasn’t expecting that.

He totally wasn’t expecting to be sitting down on Izumi’s flat’s sofa, after having showered in Izumi’s bathroom, using Izumi’s clothes –that looked considerably big on him–, and drinking hot lavender tea from Izumi’s teacup. A snot came down his nose sometimes, so he had to use tissues continuously.

But the most uncomfortable fact of them all wasn’t that he was feeling just like if he had just been adopted by Izumi, but that… he was still wearing the maid attire. Why. Just. Why.

It was even worse to look at him sitting on the armchair while spreading his legs, sitting like a drunk man that hadn’t shaved his bear in weeks –it wasn’t the case, thankfully– and his cheek on his fist, elbow on the armchair, looking at a tiny, awkward Tsukasa covered with a fluffy and soft blanket, just like a sheltered animal.

“I would be thankful if you stopped staring at me, Sena-san,” Tsukasa said, still barely showing his face from between the blanket’s sides. “You probably don’t know, but you’re rather, uh… Intimidating.”

“Glad to know I’m still intimidating despite wearing a maid dress,” he said like it was nothing, quite relaxed. “It will stay like this until you tell me what happened. I know you’re a little insect that will get away easily if I blink too many times, so…”

“That’s kind of pushy, if you ask me.”

“If you want me to be pushy, I will. I will push you out my house.”

“Rude.”

“Yup.”

Tsukasa looked at a fixed point on the living room’s table for some seconds, smelling the tea’s scent. The perfume Izumi had used for the clothes was also really nice – everything seemed clean and somehow welcoming in that house despite it being all muted colors and, at first glance, sad. It was probably because he had had fun in there and the memories filled his head with good things about that place. He still had mixed feelings about Izumi, but it had felt so nice to be taken care of like that, especially coming from someone as cold-looking as the older one was. He had no doubt Izumi’s heart was warm and caring, he would never believe Leo was dating someone who wasn’t like that. He understood why he was in love with him, he cared for each other a lot but… Then, what was it that didn’t make them, Leo and him—

“Kasa-kun,” Izumi crossed his arms on his chest, while still looking at him, but this time with a more sincere glance. “I might be able to understand and help you. I know you’re not comfortable around me, but if you don’t get that out of your chest you will probably suffer alone.”

“That’s what I’m trying to do, indeed. I don’t think my friends should be bothered by my problems,” Tsukasa replied, calmly, and in a low volume.

“But you are bothered by others’ problems. Give yourself a rest sometimes.”

Well, he wasn’t wrong. He thought it would be better to be direct and brief, as he didn’t want to concern Izumi too much. The reason why he has ran away, the reason why he was crying so much – he didn’t need to know about that.

“Tori-kun confessed to me. I didn’t know what to say or what to do, but I… Returned his scarf, ran away, and started crying. I was so focused on getting away from that situation I didn’t even think about taking my umbrella out… So I apologize for all the inconveniences I caused you, Sena-san.”

“… Izumi-san is fine.”

Tsukasa blinked while looking at the grey haired man, who had just stood up to walk towards him. He sat right next to Tsukasa, and rested his arms on his lap. “You were scared, weren’t you.”

“N-no! It was nothing of the sort, I just…” he doubted, falling silent and looking at the inside of the teacup. “I didn’t understand…”

“Well, you were scared because you didn’t understand. It’s fine, some of us experience us,” Izumi rested his back against the sofa and Tsukasa put the teacup on the table, lowering the blanket from his head to his shoulders, progressively, as Izumi kept talking. “Momo-kun won’t judge you or hate you for that, and if he does, I will smack him. You two just need to talk.”

“You talk like you have experience in relationships, Se… Izumi-san,” Tsukasa spoke, covering himself better with the blanket. It was warm and it felt nice, he didn’t want to let go of it ever in his life. And, on top of all, it smelled nice!

“Because I do. I’ve been in three so far, each one better than the previous one, and well. You know, it will always be scary, no matter how many times you experience it. Love is bullshit,” Izumi put a hand on Tsukasa’s head, rubbing it a little, gently. “But when everything else is bullshit as well, it could light your days up. Once it helps you once or twice… It’s not that bad.”

Tsukasa kept silent, lowering his head when the hand was placed on it. It felt… nice? Though he was still uncomfortable for the sudden confidence between them, it was nice. Izumi’s hand comforted him and his words, though they didn’t heal his wounds at all, served as good temporary band-aids. Tsukasa would need to find his own cure, he would need to find something that made him heal progressively. And it would take time, he knew about that very well.

“Oh, I forgot. You work with him, don’t you…” Oh, fuck. He was right. “Try to avoid the topic… And avoid him a little, it’s fine. It will hurt him and you as well, but it’s better before hurting each other any further. That sucks, but it will be solved soon – Momo-kun doesn’t actually like conflict… Though you ask me a lot about him, you probably know this better than I do.”

“Actually… It’s not like I _know_ him. I’ve not talked that much with him, just watched from afar… So I don’t get why he…”

“Asking why will probably be no good. If you asked me why I am in a relationship with Leo-kun, I wouldn’t know how to reply to you,” he admitted, smiling without much remedy, letting a soft laugh out. “He probably doesn’t know either.”

Tsukasa shrugged and felt how Izumi’s hand pushed his head a bit, until it rested on the grey haired’s shoulder. Huh? What?

“It’s Valentine’s Day. You’ve rejected someone, I’ve been replaced by beer, isn’t that nice?” Izumi joked, closing his eyes.

“You… didn’t go with them, Izumi-san?”

“No. I don’t drink.”

“Why is that? If I’m allowed to ask.”

“I have to take some pills for stupid old depression as if they helped me in any way, but I pretend they do,” Izumi replied, stroking Tsukasa’s head softly. “I still have a long way to go, I suppose.”

“Depression must be really hard to deal with. Leo-san… he was a completely different person back then. He recovered, but he’s still fighting after all, as well,” Tsukasa sulked a bit as he tried to find a more comfortable position to lean on Izumi. “I’m… jealous, Izumi-san. It might sound childish, but since he’s with you, he’s… changed. For the better. I thought I was useless to him as nothing changed in him when we were still the closest comrades… I couldn’t understand how I wasn’t able to make him happy and then some stranger comes and in some weeks, he’s already in love. I was so confused and so lost…”

“I get it. Hey, you don’t need to sulk so much about that, everyone has thoughts like that at some point, even if we try to supress them. At least once… Well, if you’re the kind of person who thinks too much about your impact on others,” Izumi explained, closing his eyes as well. “I am talking as if I was an expert but I am actually just trying to make you stop crying like a baby over something as simple and at the same time as complex as love is. I know nothing about people and know very little about myself, but that’s something I share with many people. It’s just a matter of time you and everyone realize what our limits are… And he’s still really close to you, you know.”

As Tsukasa didn’t say anything, Izumi continued.

“He still loves you. A lot. With his whole heart. And I’m telling you this because he has told me so several times.”

Hearing Izumi saying that made Tsukasa’s eyes get wet again. He rubbed them with the blanket quite clumsily from his position, trying to think about something to say to that, but… He simply felt like a shitty person for having developed those feelings of hatred towards Izumi when he was nothing but a… person with emotions and mental burdens, just like him. They weren’t that different in that matter – everything he had talked about… He felt some kind of connection.

As soon as he stopped sobbing, he heard the sound of keys opening the door. A drunk Leo came inside the flat, and looked at Izumi in a maid dress, comforting Tsukasa like that… What was happening?

“Hello,” Leo raised a hand in which he was holding a plastic bag. “Since you didn’t have any last time, I bought condoms. What’s up?”

“I hate it here,” Tsukasa groaned. “I can’t stand this anymore.”

Izumi’s face went red, having to get up from the sofa to close the door behind Leo. “You aren’t that late! Did you just go to get drunk? Did you seriously just do that? Just to get all happy easy-going to do whatever you planned to do today!?”

“Uh. I don’t know? Hello, Sena~” Leo kissed Izumi’s cheeks and finally came in, jumping a little while walking. He threw the bag on top of the table and the box of condoms rolled out.

“I didn’t want to know that,” the red haired boy said.

“What?”

“The flavour.”

“You bought them flavoured?” Izumi asked. “Seriously?”

“You didn’t reply to my texts so I did the fuck I wanted to do. Got a problem with that?” Leo smiled stupidly, clinging to Izumi.

“No, no, no! Stop right there! Kasa-kun is home, we’re not going to do anything at all, alright? Besides, he’s staying for the night, so get your shit together!” Izumi yelled, strying to get away from Leo’s drunk-hug.

“Eeeeeh!?” both young men said in unison.

“Yes! You there, go to the bathroom, take a shower, get hygienic, and come back because I have to take one too and put my pyjamas on! You do the same. We’re all sleeping in the same bed.”

“You’re just telling me to die,” Leo laughed outloud. “Not even you and I fit in that damn fucking bed!”

“Stop swearing, Leo-san!”

“Shut the fuck up!”

Izumi smacked the back of Leo’s neck and pushed him to the bathroom, locking him inside. Tsukasa looked at them quarrel right in front of the door until Leo finally gave in.

His straight, serious and somehow hurt expression became a warm, happy and comfortable canvas for that gentle and sweet smile he now knows Tori loves with his soul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, i'm back! sorry for the slow updating, but this chapter took longer than expected, it's also longer than the last special chapter, so i hope you enjoyed it!!  
> i can't wait to see what you all think about this~ have some warm tension trio and torikasa big moment! they will get another one soon enough though. what is eichi up to?

**Author's Note:**

> hehe that was it... thanks for reading! i hope you enjoyed it~  
> introduced new important content here and also the beginning of some relationships, most of them difficult, though. i will be happy to read all your comments on twitter or here!


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